04829

Fuckin' A, I can't even do FUNERALS right. My 100 year old great grandmother died a couple weeks ago, see. She was walkin' down some steps, and her aid lady was trying to help her, and she was like "ARARARGHAGARGH I CAN DO IT MYSELF ARSGDGHIEATBABIESARRR," so, the lady let her try to do it herself. And she fell down the steps. And that was that. But anyway. I was at the funeral showing deal with family and friends and whomever, and I get this really important business call from the art gallery. I accidently missed the call, so I had to call 'em back, but like.. I couldn't get reception anywhere. So I'm lookin' and movin' all around trying to

I really don't have much luck with cops when I get pulled over. It all started last summer when I was pulled over going like.. I dunno, 105 in a 65 or something, coming back from a Cure concert in Cincinatti. It was me, and my friends Allie, Jon, and Eran. The cop asked me to step out of the car for a minute to ask some questions, and he goes "so have you kids been doing any drinking tonight?" "No.." "Doing any illegal drugs?" "Oh we're high on LOVE, officer." He didn't appreciate that. Then the month after that, I was up at Lake Erie, and this cop out of NO where for literally no reason pulls me over. I was with my little cousin, and I was

I was driving down Fisher Rd. this morning, and this dumb bitch in front of me kept tapping her break pedal just to fuck with me. (I wasn't tailing her, either.) So I get to the lane next to them so I didn't have to keep breaking, and I gave 'em the finger. Next, they speed up really far, and this girl on the passenger side gets ALL the way out of her window and REALLY flamboyantly gives me the finger back. And then she fucking FELL out of the car window onto the road. I almost pissed myself laughing. I still am.