Fuckin' A, I can't even do FUNERALS right.

My 100 year old great grandmother died a couple weeks ago, see. She was walkin' down some steps, and her aid lady was trying to help her, and she was like "ARARARGHAGARGH I CAN DO IT MYSELF ARSGDGHIEATBABIESARRR," so, the lady let her try to do it herself. And she fell down the steps. And that was that. But anyway. I was at the funeral showing deal with family and friends and whomever, and I get this really important business call from the art gallery. I accidently missed the call, so I had to call 'em back, but like.. I couldn't get reception anywhere. So I'm lookin' and movin' all around trying to be able to dial out, and it gets to the point where I'm thinking there's no where I can make this call.

Then I look over to my great grandmother's casket.

Next thing you see is me waving a cell phone around her head seeing if it'll work, and LO AND BEHOLD, I HAD FIVE BARS!

I really don't think she would've cared. Besides, at the SAME time little kids in the family were touching her and saying "Ew" and shit. So hey.

And man, that's not the worst, later this woman in my family who's training to be some sort of priestess god thing had us all in kind of a circle, and was saying some kind words, and she said something along the lines of like.. "She was a great mother, a grandmother, a great grandmother, a cousin, an aunt.." and somehow after the word aunt, my head kind of added "uncle," since that's what you generally hear next... so I realized what I'd just thought and I just fuckin'... well, I made a noise that everyone thought was me SNEEZING, but lord, I had to hold myself from LAUGHING anymore than that little outburst.

Seriously though, she would've thought it was funny. My family's insane.

So, I'm going to hell. How's everyone else doing?